Monday, July 30, 2007
I woke up on Saturday morning to find most of the laundry done. Tubby Hubby got up early and did most of them for me. He said that it's so the laundry will stop screaming at me.. heh.Thank you dear. I Love you!
I figure I'm back to my ole' non sad depressive state now and I think a huge part of how I felt last week was due to me being all tired out and work.Well, and the fact that it was that time of the month.
I'm sorry dear. I Love you!
Anyways, ok what I wanted to actually update about was this...
After being together for almost a good five years, from the time we dated till now...Last Saturday was the first ever time we ventured into an Indian restaurant for 'banana leaf' dinner.
Those of you who know Tubby Hubby's ermm ethnicity... and the fact I don't really fancy Indian food, Then you'd probably understand why this was such a big deal to me.
After all was said and done, I actually enjoyed it. It was nice using your hands to eat (although being malay, we'd naturally use or hands to eat lah kan but I never do that out in public lah) and licking it clean, savouring the spices and the masala on your fingers. I think that's the best part of the dinner, apart from the food lah. If you're wondering, no It wasn't a vegetarian restaurant. I was happy tucking in to my prawn masala, the chicken vindaloo and aloo gobi. I like potatoes. Naturally the other vegetables that came with the food was pushed to Tubby Hubby.
It was nice and I figure I'd like to go again soon. Actually, I'm starting to crave for it now. Too bad there's no Indian restaurants near the workplace.
I think I made Tubby Hubby pretty happy that day... Cos we actually had indian food...haha!!
And I can definitely confirm that it won't be the last time. He will no longer be deprived....hahah!!
So when we're going again ah?
Posted by AdrenaLynn at 12:25 PM
Friday, July 27, 2007
PiecesIt's been everyday this week, ok more like every night. Monday thru Thursday... and tonight too. I ain't gonna go into the weekend. No, it's alright. I understand. Don't you think I do? There's nothing to be done about it. So there's nothing I can do about it. Nothing I'm gonna and have to say about it.
Work has been hectic this week with another audit coming up (we just ended one last week). That has been keeping me at work later than I usually would, especially when I'm doing the AM. I always make it a point to get off before sundown when I'm on that shift. Get home, get dinner ready, do chores wait for em, slum for a short while and then hit the sack. I haven't this week ... not at all..and i don't think I will today too.
So far I've only cooked dinner once this week, Laundry hasn't been done (to a certain extent I think I'm just refusing to do it), I haven't been slummin much..when i do..I don't even know what I'm watchin on the telly. One thing though ain't much different though with me pulling in the hours and coming back later than usual... I'm still the one waiting. Every day this week so far... and i know its gonna be the same tonight too.
I guess thats why I decided to bring work home last night I suppose and that's something I would never do like in a million years. Well, it looks like a million years had passed then huh.
You people reading this should probably go buy a number then. I guess I needed something to just take my mind off stuff and keep to myself. Wondering how late I should stay today, It's a Friday night.. and It's my Saturday off this weekend. I always make it a point to get home early and get ready for my weekend.
Its been rather quiet lately... well except for the laundry on the bedroom floor that keep screaming it's head at me. Yeah I heard you but spare a thought alright, I'm like really totally worn out. I don't need that coming from you.
Yeah, I think I'm probably a certified nut now..no wait..Think I already was to begin with.
You're probably wondering whats the point to this post. I don't really think There's any to begin with (like was there even any with my other post at all).
I just need to ramble and let some of it out, the only place I can be understood. No I don't mean you, I don't really care if any of you out there understand at all. Misunderstood has been my middle name anyways. This is the only place i feel that Understands... i know it an inanimate , virtual space that's devoid of any emotion but when I lay it out here.... It just feels like... I'm understood. Understand? No Judgements.. It just listens....of sorts lah!!
No I'm not complaining, just rambling. I'm not blaming, I understand. I always try to. You don't think I do, do you?
"Hello
I am your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello" - Evanescence - Hello
Well Hello... Thanks for listening. I know you'd understand.....
Posted by AdrenaLynn at 11:26 AM
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Nothing To update ..No Really.. Nothing...
Zilch...
Nada...
Zero.....
Posted by AdrenaLynn at 3:32 PM
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Exhaustedex·haust (ĭg-zôst')
v. ex·haust·ed, ex·haust·ing, ex·hausts v. tr.
To wear out completely.
Part of Speech: adjective 1
Definition: tired
Synonyms: beat*, bleary, bone-weary, bushed, crippled, crispy, dead*, dead tired*, debilitated, disabled, dog-tired*, done for*, done in*, drained, effete, enervated, frazzled, had it*, limp, outta gas*, played out, prostrated, run-down, sapped*, shot*, spent, tired out, wasted*, weak, weakened, wearied, worn, worn out
Work has drained me out this week... and it's only Thursday!!! Sighhhhhhhhhhhh
Posted by AdrenaLynn at 11:16 AM
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
So Where Is The Passion When You Need It The MostMy training with one of the local clubs started last night. It was a workout but I can't say I had a good session personally. It already didn't start off well the first few minutes I got there but I shan't go into details over that incident.
Training was pretty intense and they had their game play down to a pat but considering that it was my first time playing with this team, I kinda had a rough time trying to keep up. I knew what I was doing, I knew what I had to do but I just kept on not doing it right. I got the game play in my head but when I start doing it I kept fumbling and messing it up.
If you know me well enough you'll know that I am my most harshest critic and I expect nothing but a hundred percent from myself. Especially when it's something I know for sure I can do.
I'll start trying even harder, the I'll start getting pissed at myself when I'm still not doing it right which will eventually lead me to get all stressed out. Which leads to me not being able to concentrate and mess things up even more. Then at the end of everything, I'll just get really upset with myself.
I was really upset with myself after the session last night. I was actually extremely disappointed with myself I was on the verge of tears. I was so used to have intense training, where we give a 100% but it was still fun. Last night wasn't fun. Perhaps not for me....
After all that I woke up totally exhausted. Totally drained from whatever physical, emotional & mental hmm.... energy I have. Totally drained of my 'Chi'... my 'Wa'...My 'Mojo'.
Still gotta think about what's for dinner tonight. Don't really have the energy to cook though.
I am damn tired. Work won't be as easy this whole week too considering this week is the start of term. Thus it's busy busy busy!! Damn can't bend my left knee to get them notes from the bottom shelf...Grazed my knee last night!!
I dunno right now, I haven't really gelled up with my new teammates but I am wondering if I really wanna start doing this competitively again.
With trainings and getting all exhausted the next days, that'll mean a nice home cooked dinner will be a rare occurence. That kinda makes me a lil bit sad though. I like whipping up a good meal for dinner for Tubby Hubby and myself obviously. That means I get to eat my fill hehe...
I dunno... Perhaps I should just stick to doing it recreationally when I can instead. With competitive trainings, I know my fitness and physique will be back to the way it was before. Well TubbyHubby seems to like that my bum was tight after Training last night hehe..! It would be great to get my six pack back too.
But with the different priorities and responsibilities now, I dunno If I should really commit to this.
I said before at 18 that I wanna be playing this beautiful game Till I'm 40... but I never thought of the ever changing responsibilities and priorities at a different stages of life. I love this game but It feels like I'm losing that passion to do it on the same level I did before...
It can also be that I'm feeling this way cos I felt really let down by myself after last night's session...
Well looking ahead, I know I will probably have to quit doing it competitively someday ... wayyyyyy before I hit 40.
I just am not sure if that time should be now......
Tell me you understand me ... really..... somebody ... anybody
Please.....
'And did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?' - Wish You Were Here [Pink Floyd]
Posted by AdrenaLynn at 8:46 AM
Monday, July 09, 2007
Not Much More Than Meets The Eye..If you haven't guessed it from the Title yet, I finally saw Transformers over the weekend with Tubby Hubby In a full theatre, with loads of kids who were apparently a whole lot more quieter than the 4 full grown adults sitting behind us!! Bloody annoying I tell you.
Anyways, Tranformers...was..... hmm...
What can I say, After 2 and a half hrs was over... the only thing I had to say was
"Screw the Porsche, Gimme the GMC's!"
That was how little I thought of the show...
Well, I didn't expect too much of it to begin with. The storyline..was ermm..very Terminator'ish.
Optimus Prime... looked damn bloody tacky with the freakin flames on. Not much details can be seen on the rest of the AutoBots except for Bumblebee, who was ok pretty cute..hahah.
The call centre scene with the Indian National helpdesk fella was hilarious. certain parts of the scripts is rather funny. The fight scenes and I guess the graphics were ..just OK to me.
All in all, if you put aside all you knew about the Tranformers you have grown to know and loved as a kid, you'd prolly enjoy this movie.
Pretty much desecreted it for me. Gone is the Transformers theme song..sighhh!!!
What I thought was really sad is that...this is the Tranformers that the kids now will relate to.
So sad lah..
Posted by AdrenaLynn at 1:27 PM
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Hello - EvanescencePlayground schoolbell rings, again
Rainclouds come to play, again
Has no one told you she's not breathing ?
Hello, I'm your mind, giving you someone to talk to
...Hello...
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide ...*Don't cry...*
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here, all that's left
Of yesterday...
Posted by AdrenaLynn at 5:56 PM
Monday, July 02, 2007
My thoughts roamed and suddenly in a flash I was filled with memories from the past. Different memories from different points of my life. Most of them not too long ago. All of them not the positive kind.The emotions then ran freely through my body like it was just yesterday. All the anger, the confusion, the betrayal, the pain, the hatred, the urge to inflict physical damage, the yearning to hear what I have been waiting for...all this time.
I guess this wave of emotion and thoughts started with me discussing the confrontations I had with certains parties at work previously. It still riled me up talking about it. I still want to inflict physical pain unto the ppl who have wronged me. I still want to see karma in action and laugh in their faces when shit get flung back at them two-fold.
Then I suppose, the others, be it work related or personal issues were just waiting to come out all over again.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not evil like that...well not that evil. I an nice enuff to not actually inflict any physical violence unto these ppl. Even though I still feel they deserve every bit of it, I mean it can still never compare to the emotional pain and the state you have inflicted on me.
Forgive and Forget? That's bullshit to me. How do you forgive someone who have yet done anything to deserve it? How do you forgive someone who does not even see it within themselves to realise the pain you gone through and request for your forgiveness?
Forget? You never forget. Cos that's what keeps you grounded. That's what keeps you guarded and prepared as the ppl closest to you will be the one who will hurt you most.
Get over it? Whats done is done? Aren't I capable of doing that.
I know I am..in fact there are many a times that I did manage to put the past behind me.
The only reason these memories still haunt me from time to time is the fact that I deserved more than what was given to me.
Just because I am civil doesn't mean I have forgiven nor have I forgotten. Just because I acknowledge you doesn't mean I am not secretly hoping giant piano drops on your head the moment you step out of your home (hehe....roadrunner catoons anyone??!!))...
With some ppl I make it more obvious, I do not acknowledge your existence but that doesn't not make it ok between me and them.
In these cases, there is only 1 thing that can get things on the road to mending ties, That is to hear what I deserve.
That would be from these ppl, their apology for having wronged me. For causing the hurt and the pain. The admittance that what they did to me was uncalled for and unfair.
Only then will I start getting on the road to forgiveness. Only then will I consider mending ties.
That and perhaps watching karma in action....and laugh at your miseries hehe..
I'm vindictive like that...
Now that made me feel much better :p
Posted by AdrenaLynn at 6:13 PM
Chase Them Blues Away....
This definitely made me smile....